Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Kara's Training Plan: How not to train for an event. Sign up now....

A few key things one should never ever do just 3 months prior to taking part in an Ironman event:

1. Quit their job... 
1.a. this means you have very little incentive to do much of anything.
Yep, there are 5 suitcases, 2 hockey bags, 6 sticks, and two
triathlon bike boxes in there....bye bye winter...
1.b. especially because you have no money to do anything with.

2. Pack up 75% of your entire home and then get it all ready for a different family to live in.
2.a. this means you leave 90% of all training things in boxes downstairs (of old house in Canada), like your Nathan hydration pack, runners, sunglasses, goggles.
2.b. pull many muscles while lifting and sorting things in the house.

3. Move your entire family of five across the world. To another country. Where it is 40 degrees.
3.a. this means a total of 22 hours of in-flight time and a few days (give or take) of complete exhaustion.

4. Take an entire 6 weeks of vacation in this same stated country, exploring, eating and sleeping your way through life (utterly blissful, yet not so much on your cardiovascular system or waistline).
4.a. this means you come to the realisation that Tim Tams are not a food group and peanut butter must be rationed (they only have itty bitty jars of peanut butter here...a crime, I know).

Off to the land of Oz....
5. Start kids in new schools, new dance academies, hockey clubs, soccer clubs, and footy clubs...while still trying to maintain your eventing ritual of boogie boarding and surfing as the sun sets on the horizon.
5.a. this means buying uniforms, bucket hats and squeaky new black shoes...much to the dismay of the tortured children.
5.b. and trying to curb the 10pm bedtime they have been pushing for the past month.

6. Start a completely new job at the same time as your husband (just for dramatics: in stated new country;)
6.a. this means learning the lay of the land in (at a minimum) 12 different hospitals (insert laughter here!).
6.b. while only having one vehicle.... (insert belly laugh here.... very large belly laugh).
6.c. and learning the lingo...when I heard the word Caesar I figured they were talking about the drink, not the surgery....(ie. C-Section or Section in Canada....oh dear....)

I'm almost are you feeling....prepped? Ready? Uber fit and ready to race? Ya, I kinda figured....

7. Come to the understanding that this race is all part of the plan.... the whole take it as it comes, fly by the seat of your pants, you only live once, you may as well get the most outta life, plan.  It's the only way for me.  I know many of my dear, tender, type AAA friends wouldn't last a day in my little world, and that's not a knock on their abilities, it's the truth.  I can barely do it.  Why would I expect anyone else to?
7.a. Here's why: It's freaking awesome! That's why.  I love this stuff.  The challenge of honestly not knowing if I'm gonna pull it off.....I love that.  
Playing in the outdoor's 50 Meters...but I can only
make it about 40...then I doggy paddle... :)
Here's it is on the D-Low.... I'm swimming twice a week if I'm lucky.  Swear.  The bike is maybe another two times a week.  I'm trying a bit harder to put the time in on the bike.... It's not fun winging a 180K bike....and then running a marathon.  Not fun at all....
The run is what's killing me.  I have nothing.  I'm at a solid 7K...Yep. You read that right. At 7K the hamstring kicks in and threatens to strike.  By that point my mind is wandering...I have no water (Nathan pack is underneath winter sweaters at home in the basement), no fuel and it's 28 degrees at 7:30pm....

OK, so why am I doing it?
Well, picture it!  MELBOURNE people!!! In Australia!!!! Staring out at St. Kilda's Bay...with 1600 other freaky triathletes.  Why not???
...that is all.



  1. Well, 1 week and 1 day to go. I hope you are ready to put your toe on the start line and your body and mind are ready to go. All the best and hoping you have the race you trained for. Let us know how you go....the crowd waits in anticipation.

  2. You did a beautiful job and I am sure you will cherish them each year.

    Ice hockey bag & Roller blades